remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
tell me about the eggs
Randomize