David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
