yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize