We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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