I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
