I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
