I'm lost and stupid without you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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