is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
