I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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