so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
