So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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