There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
