You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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