I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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