Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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