I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
