She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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