dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
