I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
