Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
