you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
