it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
kristin has been a bad kristin
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
