But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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