you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
