dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.