I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
