It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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