I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize