It's just like the Real World with babies
I just gift wrapped bread.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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