i don't like sucking hair
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
