I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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