yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
