and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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