Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
