I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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