This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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