And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
