i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize