so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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