Just cropdusted the office
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize