the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
