is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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