I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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