Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
