butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
