I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
