Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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