his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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