Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
