I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize