i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
