We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize