laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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