you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
two words: eviction party
Come see our sink grown plant.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
