I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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