found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
