dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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