i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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