found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize