Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
