I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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