there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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