As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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