i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
