I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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